Conflict occurs at different levels of interactions-between friends, family, working partners or relationship partners. It is a critical element in a relationship because it might strengthen or weaken our relationship depending on how people deal with conflict. Having myself involved in a committee, I have witnessed and experienced interpersonal conflicts between committee members.
There are different expectations of working achievement among members. Those who contribute more to the team would feel uneasy to find other members who did not take initiatives to contribute. Conflicts often arise between members with different working attitudes. When I was working with a friend, his working attitude appeared to me that he is not contributing to the team. He did things very slow and reluctant to offer help even when he knows that I have many tasks to cope with.
I tried not to complain to him because I feel that my underlying anger may go out of control if I talk to him about this issue. Another reason is that I am afraid of by starting critics on him, it might affect our relationship. So, I would rather finish the work by myself than asking for his help. Consequently, there were more tension accumulated and our relationship is no longer as close as before.
I know that I was wrong for denying the existence of conflict right at the beginning but I also faced a dilemma that, if I tell him about his unproductive working style, it might compromise our friendship. What should I do when I feel that my working partner is not committed in his or her job?
Hi Wan Ting,
ReplyDeleteI guess I had been to situations like this before. I can't offer you the best advice but here are just some thoughts. I guess I would react the same way as you do, and try to do my part well. I guess I will also approach him in a subtle way about the issue, indirectly asking him what's wrong, such as if he is busy and hence, seem to take things slowly in the work. This way, hopefully, it can show him that I care about the friendship but at the same time, alert him about the issue I have with the working attitude. Just my two cents worth of thoughts.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI think such problem is inevitable when one is working with someone that he or she already knew. However I think that work and personal life should not mix and so I think I will actually tell him directly. The more important issue is actually on how to relay the message to him. Personally, I will opt to find an opportunity to talk to him and describe to him the difficulties in the project and convince him that he is going to help matters much more if he is more involved. Perhaps this might help.
On the other hand, I think that it may not be his character to take initiatives, so perhaps I will choose to ask him directly for help should I need one. If he is indeed a good team player, I believe that he will be more than glad to help, otherwise, I think it does say quite a fair bit about his commitment.
Hello Wan Ting,
ReplyDeleteThis story will repeat itself umpteen times to almost everyone of us since each individual whom we will be working with will have different perspectives on the level of commitment and some can be irresponsible in accomplishing their tasks.
If I were to resolve this kind of situation, I would first write him notes expressing my difficulty in handling most of the tasks myself. I will compose the notes in a way to make him or her feel that he or she is indispensable in accomplishing the tasks.
If this situation still persists, I would most probably report his working attitude directly to the head of the committee and let the head observe his working attitude and take appropriate actions to resolve the problem.